2 Things I Don't F*ck With

“The Two Things You Never Raw Dog Polo: Rattlesnakes & Responsibility”

Life is full of bad decisions—playing from the tips when you shouldn’t, taking golf advice from your drunk buddy, or thinking one more beer won’t ruin your short game. But there are TWO things you never, under any circumstances, mess with: rattlesnakes and condoms. One will ruin your day, the other will ruin your next 18+ years. Both give you a warning before disaster strikes: rattlesnakes rattle, and condoms? Well, they sit right there in your wallet, begging you to not be an idiot. Ignore either one, and you’re in for a world of regret, swelling, and a lengthy hospital (or diaper aisle) visit.

Key Features:

✔ Moisture-wicking fabric—because whether you’re sweating from heat or child support panic, this shirt’s got you covered.

✔ A built-in PSA for every golfer who thinks “Eh, I’ll be fine”—spoiler: you won’t.

✔ Pairs well with smart choices, quick reflexes, and never hearing the phrase, “We need to talk.”

Warning: This polo may cause extreme laughter, deep life reflection, and sudden urges to double-check your nightstand drawer. Remember: some mistakes can be undone—others show up at your doorstep calling you ‘Dad.’

.: 100% polyester
.: Extra light fabric 
.: Pointed collar
.: Three button placket