2 Things I Don't F*ck With Lightweight Hoodie

The Two Things You Never Raw Dog Long Sleeve Hoodie: Rattlesnakes & Responsibility

Life is full of questionable choices—playing from the tips when your game’s more “putt-putt” than “PGA,” taking swing advice from your hammered buddy, or thinking one more beer won’t totally tank your short game. But there are TWO things you never, under any circumstances, mess with: rattlesnakes and condoms. One can give you a nice hospital visit; the other, a lifetime of regrettable decisions.

Both give you a heads-up before disaster strikes: rattlesnakes rattle, and condoms? They sit in your wallet, silently judging your every move. Ignore either one, and you’re in for a world of regret, swelling, and potentially a lifetime membership at the diaper aisle.

Key Features:

✔ Moisture-wicking fabric—because whether you’re sweating from a bad round or contemplating a future in child support, this hoodie keeps you cool under pressure.

✔ A built-in PSA for every golfer who thinks “Eh, I’ll be fine”—spoiler alert: you won’t be.

✔ Perfect for questionable life decisions, quick reflexes, and avoiding the phrase, “We need to talk.”

Warning: This polo may cause extreme laughter, deep life reflection, and sudden urges to double-check your nightstand drawer. Remember: some mistakes can be undone—others show up at your doorstep calling you ‘Dad.’

Product features
- 100% Polyester for durability and shape retention
- Moisture-wicking to keep you cool during activities
- Lightweight fabric at 4.13 oz/yd²
- Provides sun protection with UPF +50
- Assembled in the USA from globally sourced parts

Care instructions
- Do not dryclean
- Do not iron
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Do not bleach
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)