2 Things I Don't F*ck With Towel

The “Two Things You Never Raw Dog” Golf Towel: Rattlesnakes. Responsibility. Wipe Accordingly.

There’s a lot you can get away with on the course—terrible swings, bogus mulligans, and pretending you didn’t just 3-putt from 12 feet. But there are two things you should never, under any circumstance, raw dog: rattlesnakes and responsibility. One bites. The other never lets go. And both come with a very clear warning—whether it’s a rattle from the bush or that crinkled condom in your wallet silently begging for purpose.

This towel is your daily reminder that some bad decisions stay on the scorecard… others show up 9 months later asking for juice money.

Key Features:

✔ Premium Absorbency—great for drying off clubs, hands, and the cold sweat of existential panic. 

✔ Durable Loop & Grommet—hang it like a PSA from your therapist and that one friend who’s now on his second divorce.

✔ Built-in Life Advice—perfect for golfers who live dangerously but draw the line at venom and fatherhood.

Warning: This towel may cause flashbacks to bad decisions, confused questions from younger players, and spontaneous fits of laughter followed by “Dude… too real.” Not responsible for accidental wisdom or sudden urges to text your ex, “Just checking—are we good?”

Product features
- Made from a durable 80% polyester, 20% polyamide blend microfiber for strength and flexibility.
- Perfect for various activities: camping, beach trips, or gym workouts.
- Highly absorbent, quickly soaking up moisture to keep you dry.
- Convenient one-size measurement of 16'' × 24'' for easy handling.
- Equipped with a gold grommet and ring for easy attachment to bags or carts.

Care instructions
- Machine wash separately: cold (max 30C or 90F), gentle cycle