Golf Of America Towel

The “Gulf of America” Golf Towel: Wipe Away Your Regrets—And Your Triple Bogey Tears

This isn’t just a towel—it’s a flag of freedom for degenerates who drink domestic beer, swing for the fences, and argue that Trump’s short game wasn’t a handicap—it was strategy.

Crafted for patriots who know the real 18 holes start after the round ends, this towel is perfect for cleaning your clubs, wiping your face, or dramatically throwing over your shoulder while you yell “STOLEN BIRDIE!”

Key Features:

✔ Absorbs sweat, blood, and the tears of liberals on the leaderboard.

✔ Doubles as a rally flag for impromptu “U-S-A” chants after a 350-yard slice.

✔ Soft enough for your face, tough enough for your driver’s shame.

✔ Includes 1776% more freedom than your buddy’s lame microfiber towel.

✔ Machine washable—unlike your Twitter history.

Warning: May cause unsolicited political debates, beer-fueled patriotism, and spontaneous attempts to annex the beer cart.

Product features
- 80% polyester, 20% polyamide blend for durability
- Ideal for various activities such as golfing, camping, and swimming
- Highly absorbent, perfect for quick drying
- Compact size of 16'' × 24'' for easy portability
- Stylish design with gold grommet for convenience

Care instructions
- Machine wash separately: cold (max 30C or 90F), gentle cycle