The Clambone Golf Hat: Banned in 3 States & Counting
This isn’t just a golf hat—it’s a heat check for society. With the Clambone logo front and center (yes, that’s a vagina with crossbones, and no, you won’t be apologizing for it), this hat guarantees you’ll be winning side bets, losing club privileges, and making at least one golf dad question everything he thought he knew about the sport. If golf purists wanted peace, they should’ve swung harder.
Key Features:
✔ Sweat-wicking technology—because violating dress codes is exhausting work.
✔ A logo so powerful, it once made a rules official resign on the spot.
✔ Pairs well with outrageous mulligan requests, unsolicited life advice, and a permanent ban from at least one charity scramble.
Warning: Wearing this hat may cause sudden legend status, passive-aggressive comments from old men named Walter, and an uncontrollable urge to light up a cigar before 9 AM. Side effects include swinging harder than your skill level allows, refusal to lay up, and at least one divorce lawyer handing you a business card “just in case.”
.: Front and visor: 60% cotton, 40% polyester
.: Back: 100% polyester mesh
.: Brand sticker on the visor
.: Sweatband: 100% cotton
.: Adjustable plastic snap closure
.: Sewn-in label
