Upper Deckys Hoodie

“The Nicotine and Nines Hoodie: Because Who Needs Warmth When You’ve Got a Full-Body Buzz?”

Forget layering up, forget focusing, and definitely forget where you left your ball—this hoodie is covered in upper deckys and designed for golfers who play the game like they just dry-packed three pouches and a bad decision. With enough milligrams per square inch to make a tranquilized bear jittery, this hoodie guarantees maximum energy, minimum patience, and the sudden, unshakable confidence that you can sink a 50-foot putt… blindfolded.

Key Features:

✔ Ultra-soft, cozy fabric—because when you’re buzzing this hard, you need something to keep you grounded.

✔ Infused with the raw energy of a guy who just “needs one more pouch” before making a completely irrational bet.

✔ Doubles as a nicotine storage unit—because why carry a tin when you can wear your addiction?

Warning: This hoodie may cause rapid speech, aggressive high-fives, and the unhinged belief that nicotine is a performance-enhancing drug (it isn’t). Side effects include shaky hands, nervous pacing, and losing track of how many pouches you’re running at once. Wear responsibly—or don’t, we’re not your caddy. 

.: Material: 95% recycled polyester, 5% spandex
.: Medium fabric
.: Black drawstring
.: Sewn-in size and care label
.: Seam thread color automatically matched to design